Don’t call me a “whore”

Dainty underwear around the ankle of naked woman’s legs
Dainty underwear around the ankle of naked woman’s legs
Image Source: Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

In the recent article, “Why Men Should not pay for Dinner” , what got the most attention was not the idea that woman who act like prostitutes should be called prostitutes, but by the use of the term “whore”. Apparently, this is a term that pushes buttons.

I updated the article to remove the word “whore”, mostly in the spirit of removing anything that prevents readers from focusing on the main message. Nothing like public publishing to discover people’s hot buttons.

One of the comments left on the article was from a sex worker, who…

Love and Divorce

Smoking Rose
Smoking Rose
Image Source: Caleb Shong on Unspash

Last Friday, I attended personal property mediation with my ex-wife. She pushed all my buttons, and I “lost it”. Not “lost it” in became violent but “lost it” in the sense I became very strident and refused to negotiate until she made concessions. There may have been some raised voices involved as well. Both of us, but more me than her.

During the divorce proceedings, then wife included in court documents, on multiple occasions, groomed excerpts of our personal texting to create an impression. Wife also tried to paint the picture that I had a drinking problem…

Men are called whores if they sell their soul for money. Men are called Man Whores if they pursue women for transactional, disposable, sex. The word whore is clearly not restricted to women, even if you want to claim it was created for women.

You did not answer my question. How long would a woman remain your close girlfriend if she insisted on you picking up the tab every time you did something? This is the litmus test for me about whether we are having an honest conversation about the subject. …

And why women should not let them

Credit card
Credit card
Image Source: Markus Winkler on Unsplash

From a man’s perspective, we are always paying for sex. It is just a matter of how and when. That so many women refuse to change that dynamic, says something about how many women are comfortable with that social contract; with that arrangement.

I wrote recently about the date where the lady offered to pay half, and when I agreed to let her, she froze, shocked that she might actually have to pay half, and then started talking about how a man who would let a woman pay, is not the kind of…

A woman who cannot provide for herself is a much scarier creature. She will spend millions of dollars of your money while the children a growing up, and then, one day, take half your money without contributing to your joint wealth at the same level as a successful woman. Plus she will be insecure about her role in the family and the world and drive you crazy with that as well. LTR with a woman who can provide for herself is a much more balanced relationship, and better for everyone concerned.

There is some basic truth to this article. Nice job. However, I will say, it may be possible to have a great life without a primary romantic relationship. And for those on the dating scene, we know all too well, that if you are not actually living with your romantic partner, it is "easy" for either person to just walk away, as many often do. So that puts a ceiling on the "suck" part.

What do men hear, and what should they hear

“I Believe in old-fashioned chivalry”

There is a term that I am hearing more often to describe a male “player”, a man who has many sexual partners. The term is something like “man whore”. While I personally find the term “whore”, directed at either a man or a woman, harsh to the ear, it is probably about time to have a term for men who behave in this way.

If a man acts like a whore, then perhaps he deserves to be called a whore. If a woman acts like a whore…

One line I have…

I've been on dates with over two dozen different woman since being separated. I find that whether the conversation turns to my history, and a revisiting of my reflections, depends quite a bit on who I am talking to.

I find if we are both laughing, having fun, and just enjoying learning about each other, it does not go there. But when we really have nothing to talk about, and there is no authentic fun going on, or if someone just points the conversation in the wrong direction, it just goes there. …

Any man should apply this same filtering criteria to a woman, including the very first criteria.

25 dates: date #1

The number 25
The number 25
Image Source: Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

Series Introduction

Approaching two years of physical separation, and my 25th first date hence, it seems I have learned lessons from each of these dates. The universe has given them to me as a present, to learn about life and/or myself. Therefore, I am going to write a series of short stories about each of these dates, what they have meant for me, and perhaps some thoughts for others embarking on similar post separation journeys.

25 Dates: Part 1

We sat down for the first time. I noticed the lines in the neck of the mid 50's woman. Disappointment bubbled inside. I…

Third Act

Awakening, discovering who I am, reinventing myself. Childhood, marriage, and now post-separation/divorce. It is my third act. My best act so far.

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